Are you  a Christian grieving about your marriage? Maybe you’ve received a lot of advice and that hasn’t helped. Possibly, you’ve read all you can get your hands on. You know about other Christian couples who sit down and quietly work out their differences, but that is not you. The question then is, how can a Christian marriage between two opinionated individuals make it? Do you need to blindfold yourself and pretend everything is hunky dory? No! You have to be real. Don’t give up the ship! There is hope. God does have an answer for you.   

Although my wife and I both gave our lives to Christ and accepted Him as our personal Savior, we come from totally different backgrounds. Our parents engraved different philosophies into our psyches. In the early years of our marriage, this presented a challenge. For example, my wife came from a learned family where intellectual discussions, even debates, were considered an enjoyable pastime. Each family member stressed his or her opinion and backed it up with facts. I was not raised that way. I was raised in a strict English fashion where silence was golden, and “children were better seen than heard.” Can you imagine? Every time my wife shared her opinion, always having more facts than I did, I felt beat up, not loved, and would get defensive – my only weapon.

Not knowing which way to turn, I pleaded with God in his mercy to show us a better way. We have been practicing it now for almost thirty-eight years, and it works. A friend pointed out a verse in the Bible, which has saved our marriage. It is not a secret formula. It is a promise from God that we grabbed onto. The verse is, “He that is joined to the Lord is one spirit.” (I Cor. 6:17 [KJV])  After we thought about the verse, it just made sense. If I am joined to the Lord and my wife is joined to the Lord, we couldn’t help but be one spirit in the Lord. That is what we needed. Down deep that’s what we both longed for. We knew we couldn’t go on fighting with one another, especially as Christians.

We thought about the meaning of being joined to the Lord and realized after much consideration that it had to be more than just being saved. Why? Because according to statistics five of every ten Christian marriages (and that’s “born-again Christian marriages”) end in divorce. We knew there had to be something more. Before I share with you how we learned to get into the Lord’s presence together, I need to remind you that we as Christians are in a spiritual battle. It is not just a matter of two people being stubborn with different opinions. The forces of hell are fighting against our marriages. Scripture states, “We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12 [KJV])

My wife and I got desperate. We realized that each one of us had to get with God. And we realized that meant not just by praying words in our head, but really getting into God’s presence. You know, you can pray words in your mind and still not get into God’s presence. Here is how we got with God together: We both were aware of God’s word that states, “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous runneth into it and is safe.” (Proverbs 18:10. [KJV]) A high tower that we both could run into and be safe was just the encouragement we needed. So we actually put it into practice. We sat down together and called on the name of the Lord out loud: “Lord Jesus, we need to be saved from ourselves and your name is our high tower.” We called, "Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus!" There is power in the name of Jesus! As we called on his name together, we found ourselves one with each other, sitting in God’s presence. We actually became one in the Holy Spirit. That's what we were longing for.

Now some of you may think this is just another weird formula that will not work. You’re probably thinking it’s too simplistic. Maybe you are thinking it sounds ridiculous, because you have never heard anything like it before. But please allow me to challenge you in a worldly sort of a way. I am only a registered nurse – not a mechanic by any means – and I needed my wheel bearings replaced on my car. I searched on the Internet and found directions for replacing my bearings. It wasn’t easy. Instead of taking me an hour, it took me three days, but I did it by following a few “simple” instructions.

Now let me ask you a question. If, by following a few instructions, I was able to install wheel bearings, why couldn’t you at least try a new method of getting into God’s presence together? Certainly, your marriage is worth more than wheel bearings. Try it! It is humbling, but well worth it. As you get into God’s presence together, you will realize a new love, and understanding for your spouse. Your animosity will go, and you will wonder why you made such a big deal about one thing or another. When my wife and I get into God’s presence, God shines His light on our hearts and suddenly we see things from God’s perspective rather than our own. Some of the things we thought were major we discovered were minor. Many times after my wife and I get into the Lord’s presence, I see how obstinate I have been and have to ask her to forgive me for my attitude.

The Lord wants to use your marriage to accomplish the work of his kingdom. He wants to use you as a team for his glory. The enemy knows that if you are joined to the Lord together he does not have a chance.
         

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